This year marks the 7th anniversary of your birth and death, Raquel. It’s different from all the previous ones and not at all what I envisioned. In the past, there was such solemnity and so many quiet moments and the last week or so have been anything but that. On the one hand, I’m glad for the joy and happy memories but on the other, my heart feels like it’s bursting with sadness because I miss you so much. The entire family feels the same way and still weeps over you being gone.
One of the songs that encompassed our desires for you before and right after your birth was “I Hope You Dance.” We so wanted the opportunity/blessing of seeing you grow up and live life to the fullest but it wasn’t His plan for you. Still aches to even acknowledge that fact but thankfully, it’s less difficult than it was in the beginning.
A few months ago, Sophia let me know that her studio was invited to participate in some dance events in February and March. It amazed me that the dates coincided with your birth and death. I don’t believe in coincidences – only His timing. Sophia dancing on these two dates is a heavenly kiss and a beautiful way to honor your memory. Nathaniel wasn’t left out, either. He plays piano in a musical festival on the 7th.
One of the songs chosen for February 27th was Oceans by Hillsong. It was the first time the girls new to company got to perform alongside the rest of the girls to this song. I can’t think of a more perfect one for this season and anniversary. It truly was beautiful and moving and memorable for our family.
This year, I want to reflect on our lives especially on this anniversary. Biblically, seven represents completion. There were many things that ended in the past twelve months. I’m praying that this season of unexpected grief over your loss and a few other important things is at an end. I’m hopeful that it is. Prayerfully, we can celebrate a bit more in the coming years that we got to enjoy you at all.
Before Nathaniel performs tomorrow and Sophia dances en pointe on Sunday, I want to spend some time reflecting on our new beginnings, year 8, and the joy they bring. We are all benefiting from precious reminders of His love and it’s safe to say that signs of our new season abound everywhere. We have a new family business that prayerfully will gain momentum and grow beyond our hopes; we are part of a new congregation that is challenging old paradigms (change is hard, though) and overflowing with the sweetest love; new friendships are blossoming in unexpected places even while dear and constant friends remain a true blessing; Gary and I have survived a year of school and absolutely love learning and growing; lastly our kids are thriving in the cultivation and exploration of their G-d given gifts even while they are growing up.
It’s a good season and we are grateful for the work He is faithfully doing in and through us. Here is a link so we can forever enjoy of Impact Dance of Atlanta performing Oceans at JazzonTap in Marietta. (p.s. Thank you, Heidi for creating a YouTube account so this video could be uploaded at my request. So appreciate you!)
Mom (lost my username and password so I must post through Gary)
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