For months I dreamt of the day when the doctors would turn on the ultra sound machine and pass out when they saw the healed kidneys. I went to most every single appointment with my wife over 6 months with this expectation. I wanted to be there when they dropped to their knees and wanted to know the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob and his son the Jewish Messiah Yeshua (aka Jesus).
As the months went by I prayed with a full expectation that the Lord would heal my little girl for HIS glory.
The night before Raquel passed I went to the parking deck into my car and had it out with God! I am surprised they didnt call security on me. I must have appeared to be a raving lunatic.
I again reminded God of his promises.
I said Lord you promised you wouldnt give us the diseases of the world if we honored your Torah
You said if we prayed by faith that our prayers would be answered
I reminded God that I boldly told the Doctors and Nurses we were expecting a miracle
I asked why Lord would you increase the size of her lungs 400% only for them to be the very thing that causes her death? Why Lord? Why Lord?
I asked the Lord what he wanted from me. Did he want my full time service for him right now? If so, let it be just save my little girl.
Instead to our dissapointment and hurt he took her home.
We struggled with this question until through the prayers of others God began to reveal his plan little by little.
We were looking at this from a temporal perspective and God was looking at it from an eternal perspective.
Raquel went to heaven to be with the Messiah because her race had been run. She accomplished the purpose God intended for her life.
The Lord showed me that she went to heaven without ever having sinned. We know with absolute assurance that she is with the Lord. If she had been healed and allowed to grow at least long enough for a kidney transplant we wouldnt know for sure that she would have accepted the Lord.
We know now with absolute surety that she is there waiting on us and we will spend ETERNITY with her, not just the short 40 years of life Terry and I have on this earth but forever. What a blessing.
We know she will never have to suffer again, we know that she will never have dissapointments, a broken heart, regrets, and the pain of loss. She is already in her perfect state and cheering us on.
She came to galvanize a body of believers with such deep love and conviction that those bonds wont easily be broken. I believe that she came as part of an end times work to strengthen our faith.
Over time I am confident that the impact of her abbreviated but meaningful life will be revealed to us to encourage us. Right now it hurts.
We trust you Daddy.
5 comments:
I lost my youngest brother a few years ago. He was mentally handicapped, epileptic, and died of typhoid.
I did not know God would take him away, but all I know is that when I saw him laying in the bed, I saw God's love surrounding him.
The blog is absolutley amazing...... and you are truly blessed with a wonderful circle of family and friends.... my thoughts and prayers are with you. Even though I never got to see her, Raquel and her fight touched my heart. When I got the news that she had passed I was in my hospital room holding my perfect baby boy and for a moment I was angry..... why would G-d bless me so undeserving with this child and take yours away? But then I realized that G-d has a plan and I shoulkdn't question it.
Gary and Terry,
A miracle did happen...a miracle of love and support that could only be supplied by G-d.
His love poured through all those who attended the memorial service and cascaded over you and your family.
Raquel Elise is in Heaven because perhaps G-d wanted her to be with Him....we won't know the true reason until we are face to face with the Holy One of Israel. I long for the day when we can ask Him all our unanswered questions.
Know that, for a brief time, He allowed you to be in the presence of one who is now at the Right Hand of the Father.
We love you and support you,
Shalom and blessings,
Philip and Sheila Klein
Oh my sweet friends Terry and Gary,
I didn’t even know you were going to have another precious baby. My heart is breaking for you all right now after watching your movie and reading all of Gary’s postings. Raquel is a beautiful baby. I know you will treasure these photos that so poignantly captured her time here on earth.
I long to have the words to say right now that would be comforting, but I know words can be trite. I hope you can feel this (((hug))) Kevin and I send our support and healing prayers for your whole family.
With love and tenderness,
Karen S
“Those who have lost an infant are never, as it were, without an infant child. Their other children grow up to manhood and womanhood, and suffer all the changes of mortality; but this one alone is rendered an immortal child; for death has arrested it with his kindly harshness, and blessed it into an eternal image of youth and innocence.”
By James Henry Leigh Hunt
What we once enjoyed
and deeply loved
we can never lose,
for all that we deeply love
becomes a part of us.
By Helen Keller
Terry and Gary,
Our heavenly Father knows your grief. He allowed you to walk in His footsteps. He knew the end from the beginning. He allowed His Child to be born. He gave Him life even though He knew the end from the beginning. You gave Raquel life, even though you knew the end from the beginning. He shared a deep place in His heart with you that few will ever know. He experienced in His child the horrible result of sin, of living in a fallen world. So have you. The curtain in the Temple was torn—His heart was torn, as was yours. He knows, He knows. But there is one difference. He did not turn His face from you or from Raquel. He took His Son to heaven, to sit at His right hand in glory. He took Raquel to heaven, and is holding her in His arms. Thanks be to Him.
He trusted you with the very depth of His own feelings because He knew He could.
Lord, couldn’t You have chosen someone else?
“I have called you by name and you are Mine.”
I remember my own loss. A friend came over, put her hands on my shoulders, and said, “Be still, and know that I am God.” In those moments, when I couldn’t comprehend, those words came to mind. My spirit and my soul grew calm. It was a miracle.
The anticipation, moving from one event to the next, and finally, it is over. There I was: life around me resumed but I had stopped inside. I asked my pastor, “What do I do next?” He replied, “There is the next meal to fix, the next load of clothes to wash.” So that is what I did.
Fall softly into the feather-bed of our prayers.
I love you both,
Lynne
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