Roller Coaster

The time spent at the NICu was probably the most intense, raw emotional time I have ever experienced.

When Raquel was first born they had her on an oscillating ventilator that forced 100% oxygen into her lungs in quick short bursts. This ventilator is often used when lung function is in question. There were three criteria with this machine. The percentage of oxygen, the pressure and the frequency of the breath cycles.

When she was first taken to NIC the Doctors explained that there were several basic scenarios.

No lungs = no baby

No lungs and no kidneys = no baby

Lungs and bad kidneys = maybe a baby

The focus of our initial prayers were for her lungs to form. Her x-rays revealed that the lungs were only partially formed. The saints began praying in earnest for her lungs. As day 3 rolled around there was a miraculous expanding of her lungs. Her lungs were getting larger and stronger. The percentages of oxygen in her blood was on the rise and the percentage of oxygen required to breathe was going down. All good and encouraging signs. We went home for some rest after 56 hours of little sleep on a high note.

The next morning we returned to the hospital only to discover that the oxygen percentages had changed and that now the doctors were concerned because she had not passed urine and would soon start to swell because of what they title “3rd spacing” where the fluids leak into the tissues of the body.

Again the saints were mobilized and prayed for the kidneys to function. Our Messianic Rabbi came to the bedside, anointed the baby with oil and prayed specifically for urine to pass. That night it did pass and we were encouraged again.

The next day we saw the x-rays and were encouraged because now she was passing urine and her lungs were getting stronger. When we met with the Doctor we were encouraged because her blood pressure had stabilized. We decided to head home that night for a few hours of rest.

When we returned to the hospital early the next morning we found out that shortly after leaving her the evening before her blood pressure nose dived and was unstable all night. All night they pumped her full of medications to raise the pressure, to lower the pressure all in an effort to find the right balance.

Again the saints were driven to their knees. By now most everyone of our friends, their friends, our family all knew what was happening. Thousands prayed and expectantly waited for the updates.

We were told they stabilized the blood pressure but that the oxygen levels were now not looking good and she had stopped passing urine. Again we prayed for urine and blood pressure to stabilize and again the prayers appeared to have been effective.

However, as each day passed the volume of fluids, toxins, and chemicals were building in her little body and her body reacted as if it were in shock in the womb and the capillaries in her lungs constricted causing too much back pressure in her heart which ultimately caused her heart to leak from one side to the other.

The last measure of hope was the changing of the ventilator from the oscillating type to a standard type with the addition of NO2. The doctors pretty much told us that if this did not work she was lost.

At first it appeared to work. He oxygen levels were rising but her blood pressure never really stabilized. By the time they got the blood pressure stable the oxygen percentages in the blood were dropping and the caustic stuff in her system was rising.

I had stayed with Raquel all night at the hospital that Friday while Terry got some rest at a nearby condo our company let me borrow. Early Saturday morning I traded off with Terry so she could spend some time with Raquel. I had enough time to get showered and into my sweats when my phone rang and a friend of Terry said I better get back to the hospital. By the time I got back Terry was surrounded by friends and it was apparent Raquel’s work on this earth was done.

This is the message I wrote to family and friends:

Dear Family and Friends,

This is one message I sincerely hoped never to write. It appears that Raquel’s work on this Earth is near its end. By the way things look she will enter her eternal rest on the very day appointed by G-d for that rest. Her Sabbath.

She fought hard and has brought many to their knees in prayer. Through her short but incredible life she has touched thousands and has further forged my relationship with my Messiah and my beloved soul mate Terry.

Through this trial I have experienced the absolute Love of G-d like I never could have imagined. The love of G-d was so intense that I likened it to drinking from a fire hose.

Through this trial many were moved into action and many unbelievers saw the body of Messiah step up and do such selfless acts of love, sacrifice and mercy that they were moved.

My prayers and heartache are not for Raquel because soon her suffering and pain will end but instead those who will think God can’t be real because she wasn’t healed. I can say as I am writing this that Raquel has served her intended purpose. She has touched more lives in 10 short days than most luke warm believers do in a life time.

I encourage you brothers and sisters in Christ to step it up and like Raquel be the catalyst for G-d’s supernatural Love. Time is short and tomorrow is not promised to anyone.

Thank you everyone for the countless acts of kindness, service, love, and sacrifice. Thank you most of all for your prayers they were thick in the air around us.

May the Lord bless you and keep you, may the Lord look upon you an be gracious unto you, may the Lord shine the light of his countenance upon you and grant you his peace.

Shabbat Shalom my beloved Raquel.

As the Lord moved us to each plateau of faith the prayers of the saints provided the strength we needed. Each time the Lord reached down from heaven to meet us just where we stood. Praise be to the Lord.