Miracles and Healing?

Haven't written or posted in awhile but it isn't for lack of desire more along the line of sorrow giving me writer's block, I guess.

Many of you questioned God (right alongside us) about His sovereign choice not to heal Raquel on earth. There are moments when my heart still breaks anew in pain over this but I need to share some insight and answers Adonai gave me concerning this. .

Just a couple of weeks after her birth and death, a dear and much loved friend called me to share a prayer request for her husband's health. He was hospitalized and in need of surgery. This couple has endured many hardships over the last ten years and this new test wasn't going to be easy. She asked me to pray. Out of love for this family, Gary and I chose to pour our hearts before Abba's throne. Honestly, I didn't know what or even how to pray. After all the prayers I'd fervently offered on behalf of Raquel and not having them answered like I'd hoped, I truly didn't know what to ask. Thankfully, the Ruach haKodesh (Holy Spirit) gave me the words and right heart. Suddenly, I found myself asking for spiritual healing of my friend's soul and mind. I remember saying, "if it's Your will, You can heal physically. May it be Your will to heal him." Also remember this supernatural knowledge being given to me during our prayer that Jeff didn't know the depth of Abba's love for him. Felt such great compassion and love well up in my heart for this wounded man. After praying, I encouraged Gary to visit him the next day at the hospital to share how much he was loved by our heavenly Father. Gary went to see him on Monday and communicated this Divine love to Jeff.

The next night I attended our Tuesday night Bible study and was pleased we were covering the book of Ecclesiastes. Recently, I found much in common with Solomon's view on life and was thrilled to learn more about this book. Afterward many were immersed (or baptized) and I couldn't wait to share in this joy, especially because of Rachel S. decision to obey Adonai is this.

Afterward when I was leaving, I checked my cell phone for messages. There was one from my friend Pam letting me know that her hubby was healed and didn’t require surgery after all. I was stunned. Dialed her number immediately and learned the awesome details. The rupture in his colon was no longer there. A final cat scan showed that something had changed between the night of admission and the present. Wow. I rejoiced in this merciful healing for the two of them but out of nowhere a question drowned all the joy and threatened to choke me, "why not Raquel?". Found myself praising Abba alongside my friend while simultaneously aching with a physical pain. I came home sobbing and feeling so hurt. Why didn't He choose to bring Himself great glory by healing Raquel? This would have been such an amazing testimony. Doctors would have seen firsthand His awesome power displayed and yet He chose to take her home instead. This felt like such a defeat.


The next morning in the shower I was reflecting on this healing and on miracles in general when I heard a gentle whisper in my spirit. It impressed the following deep in my heart. Healing a body is an easy thing for G-d to do but it isn't permanent. No one Yeshua healed is still alive today. They all died when it was their appointed time. People deny miraculous healings or forget them altogether. The Ruach haKodesh (Holy Spirit) shared that having two people (like us) continue to serve, love and trust Him despite our circumstances and our hearts being crushed was the greater miracle. Why? It required our cooperation and participation with His plan for our lives. This brought our Savior great glory because every time anyone acquainted with our grief saw us walking with the Lord, they would know G-d was real. Humans don't normally choose a path of obedience when confronted by similar circumstances without His help and grace. He reminded me that miracles were a sign for the unbelieving and that they were used by Him very specifically. He shared that my friend while not an unbeliever needed to be healed in order to receive the breadth and depth of Messiah's love for him. Our family did not need this particular lesson right now. Being the petulant child that I am, I asked another impertinent question but didn't get an answer. Imagine that!


After that exchange, I felt the supernatural peace that surpasses all understanding envelop me. I felt His awesome love comfort me. The potter doesn't have to answer ANY of my questions but He chooses to give me what I need and can handle because He loves and cherishes me. We serve a mighty and awesome Abba.


By now you might be wondering if I'm at a place of acceptance with what HaShem chose for Raquel. Honestly can tell you that I haven't arrived despite all of His love and sweet assurances. Surrendering a child isn't easy or painless especially knowing that my Savior had the power to create her without this infirmity and the power to heal her. Yet He chose something altogether different. Yes, my trust in Him is being challenged unimaginably, yet I know He loves my family and wants His best for us, eternally. Thankfully, He rebuilds those He's torn to pieces. It isn't up to me to complete this work. I only have to rest and press into Him. Adonai gave me this Scripture at a retreat this year and then confirmed it for me by two other people. May He remember this promise and do this for us quickly. My soul is yearning for His rain.

Hosea 6:1-3

1"Come, let us return to the LORD
For He has torn us, but He will heal us;
He has wounded us, but He will bandage us.
2"He will revive us after two days;
He will raise us up on the third day,
That we may live before Him.
3"So let us know, let us press on to know the LORD
His going forth is as certain as the dawn;
And He will come to us like the rain,
Like the spring rain watering the earth."