Thinking About You

Hi, baby! Not really sure what I want to write but I thought about you, today.

It's not as if I don't think about you every day (your amazing photos are all around) but over the weekend I wondered what you might have looked like at almost four. Our friend's DD was born a few short weeks before you. When I see her,I sometimes let my mind wander off.
I imagine you as an inquisitive, and impulsive little girl. Maybe you have long, dark curly hair. Daydream ends before I enter the 'what if' realm. I'm content with that short relapse.

Your daddy has been revisiting old wounds from four years ago. Although painful, it's necessary for his healing. He, all of us, loved you unreservedly. I suppose there will always be a hole in our family here but thankfully, all the comforting and healing words shared with us when you passed have born true. While you are missed, G-d faithfully mended our brokenness. I'm so grateful for His love and tenderness. Life without Him is unimaginable, really. How can others cope after a tragedy without the eternal hope and promises from above?

Despite the sadness associated with your death, it was a glorious time as well. I have never felt G-d's presence and love more intimately than I did during my pregnancy, your ten days, and the year afterward. Our family was sweetly carried through the valley of the shadow of death and passed through unto life. Thanking Adonai and remembering what G-d did for us almost four years ago.

Love and miss you.